Hey everybody! I figured I’d put the Love Survey we did for fun during the message today. If you didn’t get a chance to make it to the service, you missed out on a lot of laughing as we took the survey together. It’s fun to be a part of Pathmakers, in part because of times together like these. Anyway, take the survey and I hope you laugh as much as I hope you’re challenged to practice more 1 Corinthians 13 style love in your life. I hope to see you next week!
THE BIBLE’S LOVE SURVEY… WHAT KIND OF LOVE DO YOU HAVE?
For each answer, write the number of the question and the letter of the answer you would choose. Be honest. Do not choose the answer you think you SHOULD choose. Choose the answer YOU would MOST LIKELY choose in the situation.
Your favorite coffee shop is training a new employee who clearly is having a hard time keeping up. The line is growing and the huffing, sighing, and frustrated looks of the customers ahead of you are taking their toll. You’re in a hurry, too. Do you…
A. Just leave. You don’t have time for this.
B. Stay and suggest to the employee’s supervisor that they not try to train people during peak traffic.
C. Stay, smile as you order, and say that it’s nice to see a new face at the counter.
D. Try to get other customers to join you in chanting “Coffee! Coffee!”
Your neighbor broke their snow shovel in the last big snow fall. Another few inches of snow have fallen this morning and you finished shoveling your driveway with time to spare. Do you…
A. Leave your shovel on their doorstep so they have something to use for their driveway.
B. Do nothing. They won’t learn to be responsible if you interfere.
C. Secretly and quickly shovel their driveway.
D. Build a snowman on their front lawn.
It feels like everyone else is getting promoted at work. You’re doing a great job and wondering when you’ll get recognized. Your co-worker comes in and proudly announces that she was just promoted by your supervisor. Do you…
A. Quickly acknowledge your coworker with a short “that’s great” and continue with your work.
B. Make a wisecrack about promotions in general and then say “just kidding!”
C. Tell your co-worker how excited you are for her and bring her a cup of her favorite coffee the next morning with a note that says “Congrats on the Promo!”
D. Go to the supply closet and build yourself a crown that says “Emperor of the Department!”
You just bought a new car. Do you…
A. Start every conversation you have for the next week with “guess what, I bought a new car!”
B. Double park to “protect your investment.”
C. Thank God for giving you the ability to purchase the new car and be quiet and content.
D. Pull up to every red light, rev your engines, and try to race every older model sedan you find.
You had a rough day. Your roommate seems especially “needy” when you get home. They keep following around and talking to you. You’re getting annoyed. Do you…
A. Tell them, “I had a bad day and I really need you to just leave me alone for a while.”
B. Raise your voice a little and say, “Please just leave me alone, can’t you tell I had a bad day?”
C. Gently interrupt your roommate with, “Look, I’m having a really rough day today and I’d like some time to myself to get my head into a good place. But before I go, I want to make sure that you’re okay and that you know I’m okay with you.”
D. Take their laundry basket full of freshly cleaned clothes and toss it out the window.
A co-worker, who you thought was your friend, recently “out-ed” you about your private frustration with another employee. It made things awkward for you at work for a couple weeks. But today, an important client falsely accused this backstabbing co-worker of making a major mistake on a project. Your supervisor gave this co-worker a scathing reprimand. Do you…
A. Pat your co-worker on the shoulder and say “life happens, and you just gotta move on.”
B. Walk past your co-worker saying “what goes around comes around.”
C. Meet with your supervisor later sharing some information you have that exonerates this backstabbing co-worker.
D. Grab all the pills from the employee first-aid-kit, put them in your co-worker’s desk drawer, and send an anonymous complaint to HR that this worker may have a drug problem.
Your professor accidentally gave you credit for a question you got wrong on your final exam. If you tell the professor, they might take away the credit and your grade will be lower. If you don’t tell the professor, no one will be the wiser. Do you…
A. Realize your professor wrongly took off points on another question and just figure God is making up for their mistake.
B. Point out to the professor that they wrongly took off points on another questions WITHOUT telling them about the question where they wrongly gave you points.
C. Explain both mistakes to the professor and trust God with the results.
D. Take your test to the Dean as evidence for why the professor’s tenure should be revoked.
Your kid was caught with some friends vandalizing the side of a bridge with spray-paint graffiti. The police call you and ask you to pick up your kid at the station. Do you…
A. Pick up your kid and say “you made a bad decision and now you’ll have to face the consequences alone. Good luck, kid.”
B. Hire the best attorney you can afford to get your kid out of trouble.
C. Work out a deal with the Court to have your child clean up the property and do some additional community service over the next several weeks… and then work alongside your kid trying to talk to them and find out what’s going on.
D. File a small claims lawsuit against your stupid kid and resolve it on a Court TV show.
Your fiancee’ just received an employment offer for their dream job… but it happens to be in another state. Your job isn’t important to you, but all your friends and family are here and you don’t want to leave. Still, you also believe that God wants you to marry this person. Do you…
A. Suggest that you both sit down and look at the pros and cons of moving at this time.
B. Secretly convince your family and friends to try to discourage your fiancee from taking the new job.
C. Remind yourself of the vows you intend to make in your marriage and reiterate your support for your financee and their hopes and dreams.
D. Try to find compromising pictures of your fiancee to send anonymously to their new employer so they’ll retract the job offer.
Everyone else in your family has died. The only ones left are you and your mother-in-law. Sensing God’s desire for you to take care of her in her old age, you affirm your commitment to her with, perhaps, the greatest, most poetic overture of love ever expressed in human history. Your mother-in-law kind of blows you off afterward. Do you…
A. Realize this might not work out, quietly rescind the offer, and head back to Moab.
B. Tell her she’s ungrateful and deserves whatever happens to her as you leave her on the side of the road to Bethlehem.
C. Stick with your original commitment in spite of her ingratitude and glean grain in Boaz’ fields.
D. Walk her past Jericho while yelling, hoping the walls fall down on top of her.
To get your total score… compute these values…
For every A you chose, give yourself no points.
For every B you chose, subtract one point.
For every C you chose, give yourself one point.
For every D you chose, slap yourself in the face!
Total score is anything less than zero: Your definition of “Love” and the Bible’s definition of “Love” seem to be at odds. Might consider spending less time with romance novels and romantic comedies and more time asking God to help you express real “Love” towards others. Probably should read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 with some regularity.
Score 0 to 5: You’re normal… start asking God to help you better express “Love” towards others in your life. Becoming more familiar 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 will help.
Score 6 or 7: You’re coming along… looks like you’re figuring this whole “Love” thing out, but you still have a ways to go in a few areas. Talk to God about the areas you’re still struggling in. Memorize 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 for a boost.
Score 8 or 9: You’re doing well… your definition of “Love” is very similar to the Bible’s expression of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. You’re probably quite familiar with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, if you haven’t memorized it already. Ask God for opportunities to challenge your Love for others and take it to the next level!
Score 10: You might be lying. Retake the test. If you still get 10, the Pathmakers Church Overseers may consider nominating you for Sainthood with the Roman Catholic Church.
Score 11 or higher: Your name might be Jesus Christ and you just worked a miracle because according to the test, it is impossible to score higher than 10. Or if you’re not Jesus Christ and you still scored 11 or higher, your first problem is not Love, it is Math.
Note: If you had to slap yourself more than twice, you’re either really messed up or you were “that guy” in college.